Gone by Switchfoot

Okay, Gone by Switchfoot is one of those few songs that cause the hairs on my arm to rise up. It almost brings tears to my eyes because it's so true. Everything here on Earth will eventually end. If we live today like tomorrow will come, we may be left feeling that way about everyday, but today could be the end of everything. Even though everything ends, it doesn't mean we should give up with the excuse that it all doesn't really matter. I'm sure nearly everyone has heard that saying about dreaming like you've got forever, but living like you have today. I've always felt that, but usually I don't do what I mean to get done that day. It leaves me...upset, honestly. I've got so many things that I've wanted to tell my friends, but then believe that they wouldn't want to hear it. Now, honestly, I wish I had said those things. Yeah, yeah, that's something always pushed now your throats and it doesn't mean a thing. Well, dearest, it means too much to me. Sometimes I wish I didn't regret anything in the world, sometimes I can totally forget about it, but anytime I go back and remember it, it bites deeper and crueler than when it happened.
That's all. Haha.

Kinda depressed...

So, my arm hurts because my mom gave me the shot I need for school. That's not why I'm depressed. I'm kinda depressed because I looked in the mirror and actually went, "DANG! You're gettin fat!" It's actually a huge fear of mine to be that person that everyone looks at and goes, "yup, they're fat." because most of the people in my house are. I'll admit it, I'm slightly overweight. Usually, I don't mind, but recently, I dunno what's happened. I guess it's because this is the first summer I'm going to be mainly alone since... third or fourth grade. Whatever, I can get through this, on my own.

Bye, for tonights.

She says she gave me all the room in the world to care...

But she barely tells me crap. I would care if she bothered to tell me. Some days, I wish I could crawl into her head and find out what she was thinking. I get the need to keep secrets, but you can't expect me to care about something you don't tell me about. I made the opening for you to find out my big secret, the skeleton in my closet, but you basically say screw it, you're not my friend anymore, and why would I care, you flipped out at me. Do you miss the reason, right under your nose? Half of these posts are sorrow drowned away by caffeine, morphed and changed into anger. She was my best friend, closer than my own sister, but I'm sick of late nights up trying to forget or crying.
She says she gave me all the room in world, and maybe she did. Maybe I just overlooked it because what she said didn't seem major or I didn't know how to express my care. I have a feeling she won't read this, but even if she does, I'm too honest. I only cared as much as I was allowed, but when I'm told next to nothing, how am I suppose to care?
So, if you're reading this, miss Echo, tell me, what was it I was suppose to care about? I'm sick of feeling ready to claw out my throat because it feels swollen shut. I'm sick of nearly always being ready to cry. I think I figured out my problem with you guys dating. Maybe it was just I needed to talk to him about what he said, but I'm sorry I took out any anger on you. You're an amazing friend, Echo, and I'm sorry I totally ruined it all.

Just For Echo.

Echo, the timing was bad because you made it bad. You asked him out. It wasn't "Oh, he asked me out and I've liked him for a while." How would you know that I would be ticked if you had waited a year? Honestly, I'm not ticked at him anymore. I'm ticked that someone I thought was my best friend decided that four days after her faggot told me, word for word, "You know what Lexi drop dead. Go kill yourself I don't care. You would be doing the world a huge favor. This whole time I have felt horrible about myself. And you don't give a shit. I could die tonight and you wouldn't care.." Yeah, I should totally be supportive of you dating someone like this. Actually, since I'm not your best friend and am meaningless to both of you, I am happy for you.
I totally never thought they would get together! I'm soo uber happy for both of them! I hope they spend many hours together, pointing out every one of their flaws to each other. Oh, wait, it was just me that they pointed out my flaws to.
BUT I have to honestly address this:
And I am sick of it and so is Echo. She also said you are jealous because she talks to me more than you.

At the time, I honestly denied being jealous, but since I was her best friend, yeah, I was jealous she spoke to someone more than she spoke to me. You know why I stopped acting like a best friend, Echo? You didn't make me feel like I was your best friend. "I'm more comfortable with him." And you also said you trusted him more than me. You know, I thought I would miss you, spend nights crying myself to sleep like I did with Matt-senpai when she left, but still no tears or missing you. This whole thing has been like a slap in the face, over and over. I would rather move on with my life, so if you follow my blog, don't...and lose my number. While I was trying hard to not be ticked off at you for thinking he's the coolest thing next to Antarctica, Taylor was magically making me feel better, making me want tell her everything about. I didn't ever tell you everything about me because I felt that you would tell him and he would just use it to hurt me. Honestly, if you had waited about a year from that Friday, I wouldn't have cared, but you waited until Tuesday. Man, totally makes you seem like a best friend.

The timing was bad because you made it bad. You asked him out, not the other way around. So, in the words of your oh so great boyfriend, drop dead. I don't care if this makes you wanna try to save face by saying you're sorry. I'm sick of the drama YOU purposely cause. Maybe this didn't start when you started dating him. You did talk to him more, so I guess apparently you told him you're sick of me before your "I NEED A MAN!!!" senses kicked in.