Trying to Survive When Silence is Deafening.

Spit it out,
the truth,
the whole truth....

only to be told
I am totally
overreacting.

No thought about
what was
said,

shot down with
a mere
sentence.

The silence is
deafening as we sit there,
post-argument silence.

I stand,
walk outside,
run to the railroad tracks...

sit down,
don't cry,
wait until you leave

Because you will leave
and you won't think twice about
leaving me alone.

Slip in once you're gone,
sneak into my room,
sneak out.

Sit on the railroad again,
slip glass out of my mouth,
cut open my bare feet,

finally cry
because the silence you left behind,
yeah, it kills me.


This is one summer memory that stands out so vividly that I can remember all about it. How I was near tears, with my throat tightening, as I screamed at you. Maybe if I scream loud enough, my foolish thoughts said, I'll get through. I still haven't gotten through to you on why it hurts so much, but when I think about it this thought comes along, "Maybe if I actually slit my throat, they would understand."
But I'm just overreacting.