You don't want to know about me. I'm a self-loathing brat who clings too tightly to people, who like dying when they think less of me even though I think I'm trash, and who's one of the most selfish, stupid, demanding people you'll ever meet. No one WANTS to know about me because knowing about me means tearing about the nice act I have at school.
Now I can't stop thinking horrible thoughts about myself. Best part? No one who can tell me otherwise. All of this is true, whether anyone likes it or not. I don't even have a "best friend" anymore since the one I had most recently demoted me to just a friend. So, I'm spending this weekend with my family. I feel like crap, like pushing a razor through my flesh, watching a little bit of me disappear, but I've already told someone I wouldn't.
Don't wanna go to school Monday, just wanna sit around doing nothing. Don't wanna do anything ever. I want someone to text me, telling me I'm a sweet person, worth more than dirt. That's what a best friend would do, but I don't have one, so I have to try to cheer myself up. Just wanna die, though. I'm wasting resources that could go to someone who is doing/would do good for life. Me? I'm just another waste of space and I would say like a rock, but those can have a purpose.
It's funny, but once you realize you're on that downward spiral, there's no one there to tell you you ARE worth while. No one makes you feel like you belong somewhere.
"No, Julia got sick of dealing with me considering she knew about nearly everything. It's funny because if I was her, I wouldn't talk to me either."
Then, even though he goes on about how rude it is to do this, gets off without saying goodbye. It doesn't really bother me, though.
Byes...
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